Pam Taylor - Christian Life Coach

Are You a Curmudgeon?

file000495201931-morguefile-kitchens-smallI once heard a story about a mom who went to the kitchen to get a drink of water, only to find that the kids had taken the liquid dish soap and squirted it all over the floor. They had removed their shoes and were sliding back and forth like it was an ice rink. They were laughing and having a blast!! Lots of fun! UNTIL they saw her there in the doorway. They stopped in their tracks, looking at each other. TERRIFIED as they waited to see what her response would be.

So, there she stood with her hands on her hips observing the situation and trying to decide what to do. She saw their delight. She heard their laughter. But…she also saw what they had done.

She decided that it looked like so much fun that she took off her shoes and slid across the floor in her socks. She threw her head back in laughter. She was really enjoying herself. The kids couldn’t believe it! Then…suddenly…she stopped.

She looked them straight in the eyes and said,  “That was fun! Now LET’S clean this up.”

I’m pretty sure she told them not to do it again, but she understood how fun it was and it was not EVIL or SINFUL what they were doing. It was not DEFIANT. They didn’t know. So she enjoyed the moment but let them know that there were consequences to their decisions. BUT she helped them clean it up. That way they stayed on task. 

Isn’t that exactly how God is with us? He enjoys us and yet He gently guides us back to Truth. He tells us the rules and then He guides us into following the rules. The blessing comes in the obeying. For our kids and for us.

It’s so much more fun to embrace and enjoy life and to appreciate the differences of others, than to be a curmudgeon. You and your child/children are each very different. Choose to enjoy the differences. It is most definitely a choice. It probably won’t come naturally.  

And yet…you still have to be the Mom…the adult…in the relationship. Yes, of course, the adult makes rules and they also keep them. But…don’t forget to remember that the child-like things they do are normal. They are learning how things work and what is acceptable and what is not. They are experimenting.

They are also teaching us to lighten up a bit. And that, my dear sweet mom friend, is a good thing! A very good thing!

Hope this helps…

Filed under: MomCouragement — Tags: , , , — Pam Taylor @ 11:04 am

Having a Tough Day?

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“Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” — John 12:24

That pretty well sums up parenting…and especially motherhood. Motherhood is so daily!

Dying to self. The single seed dying to self for the greater good…the good crop. Meaning…when we truly surrender our rights to the Lord, beautiful things begin to happen within our hearts. And in our families.

In his very first sentence in the book, The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren states a Biblical Truth: “It’s not about you.”

That single statement reminds me to get my priorities in alignment with God’s. It’s NOT about me. It’s ALL about HIM!!! The LORD! If there is a Lord (and there is) then there must be servants who do His bidding. (That’s you and me.)

The Small Catechism states “the chief purpose of man is to love God and enjoy Him forever.” We enjoy God when we obey Him. We obey Him because we believe Him when He gives us directions how to live a life which is pleasing to Him and is joy-filled for us.

And WHEN we surrender to that, He gives us His strength, in our weakness! When we are weak, then He is strong! Hang in there, Mom!

You are loved! And yes…it *is* worth it!

Click Here to leave a comment. I would love to hear your thoughts.

This has been a word of encouragement from:

The MomCourager™
Pam Taylor, Christian Life Coach

Do you have trouble falling asleep at night?
Are you grumpy because you are not getting enough sleep?
You might also be interested in this Secret Sleep Aid:

www.loavesandfishescoaching.com/blog/momcouragement/secret-sleep-aid/

Filed under: MomCouragement — Tags: , , , , — Pam Taylor @ 8:24 pm

Especially for Moms

In today’s broken world, women are longing for warm relationships. This study is designed to help us avoid being miserable comforters-like Job’s friends-and, instead, become “God with skin on” to others. Paul told Titus to train women so that they, in turn, could train others. Preparing women before they connect with one another leads to more supportive, grace-giving relationships. Verna equips women to minister to others by first helping us to:

  • Recognize it’s right to take care of ourselves
  • Identify and correct twisted thinking
  • Learn how to draw appropriate boundaries
  • Take steps to resolve conflicts
  • Know how to listen and ask helpful questions
  • Learn to communicate understanding

This dynamic study is offered to Moms as a virtual telebridge class, meeting for 15 weeks over the phone. In addition to the weekly virtual class sessions, there is a book and workbook, a private Facebook Group, and recordings of the classes.

Here are the details:

Mom-2-Mom
15 week virtual telebridge study.
Tuesdays, 6:30 – 8:00 p.m Central Time
August 7 – November 13, 2012

Cost: $47/month.

(There’s an early registration discount:
so…if you are registered by
August 2, it is only $37/month)

Here’s what one participant of the study said:

This is my first virtual book study, and I wasn’t sure how I would like it, but it has been absolutely great. Pam’s wisdom and gentle humor combined with Verna Birkey’s powerful book, “Women Connecting with Women,” are liberating me from self-sabotaging patterns I didn’t even know I had and empowering me with new insights into my relationships with other women. This is a study – the book, workbook, and my notes – that I will go back to for years to come. I would highly recommend doing this study with Pam Taylor at your first opportunity. It is an investment in yourself, your relationships, and God’s Kingdom that will bear fruit for eternity.

Susan Fleming
Winter Haven, Florida

The Book and Workbook Details:

Women Connecting With Women, by Verna Birkey – Equipping women for friend-to-friend support and mentoring.

You’ll need both the book AND the workbook, which can be purchased at this Amazon link (for under $30).

Questions? Email:  pam@loavesandfishescoaching.com
To register contact me here:  pam@loavesandfishescoaching.com

If you aren’t a Mom that could benefit from this study right now, please pass this on and bless someone you love… You might even consider gifting them the tuition or book!

And other participants said:

There is so much content to this study. Verna Birkey has the ability to educate the participant in an understandable manner and then offer stories to solidify the learning. The exercises in the book are very helpful. I learned a lot of very practical tools that I will be able to implement when the need arises! Thanks Pam!

Starr Benjamin

I love this study. It was meant for women, but it is true for everyone. I would recommend this study for EVERY woman, regardless of age. It will change the way you look at your world.

Tereasa Jones


Mom-2-Mom Parenting Tips

Mom-2-Mom Parenting Tips

Parenting is hard work! We all need a little help!

Visit www.loavesandfishescoaching.com/blog/ to begin receiving Mom-2-Mom “Ten Tips to Inspire You to Greatness” in your parenting. And then…every few days another word of encouragement will slip into your Inbox until you have received all ten.

(BTW, even dads have been helped by these tips.) 🙂

Awaiting His shout,

Pam Taylor

Christian Life Coach

The MomCourager(TM)

Filed under: MomCouragement — Tags: , , , — Pam Taylor @ 10:33 am

Giving Barbie Dolls to Your Child. Yes or No?

I think that you really hit on something we need to add to the mix: Our personalities truly do influence how we parent.

I also believe that God purposefully chooses which child/children to place in our particular family.

So, when we pray for wisdom to the God of all wisdom, He promises to give us that wisdom that we need for our particular family.

Simplistic? Yes. Will we make mistakes? Yes. But God sees the heart of the mother/father that desires to raise the child/children to reflect Christ’s love to the world.

They (the child/children) may take the LONG road, like Billy Graham’s son, Franklin Graham, who has turned his life around and now has stepped into his father’s shoes…or they (the child/children) may take the SHORT road and never give us a day’s concern. That said…which road they take…has a lot to do with their God-given personality, as well.

But, God hears the heart of a praying mother/father. Someday you can ask Ruth Graham about that and see if she ever wondered if she was making the wrong decisions. Do you think she ever second-guessed herself?

It may comfort you to know that even if we were the perfect parent, making perfect decisions, that does not guarantee perfect children.

Ask God. He is THE Perfect Parent…and look how some of His kids turned out. 🙂

You…human parent…can only do so much to influence your children toward God. Hopefully, that takes a bit of the pressure off of you. Do what you can do. Do it the best you know how. And trust God to do what only He can do.

GIB (God is Big) KLU (Keep Looking Up).

Onward Christian Parent! Well done!

Would you like to weigh in on the discussion:  Giving Barbie Dolls to Your Child. Yes or No?

What do you think? What did you choose to do?

And why?


Self-pity vs. Self-compassion

Self pity vs. self-compassion. What’s the difference? And, who cares?

Self-pity is a passive self-absorbed thing. It prevents us from having self-compassion. And it prevents us from fully loving others.

Imagine. (Pleeeeasssseee…Totally stop everything right now and take a few minutes to truly imagine with me...) Imagine a time when you’re tenderly and compassionately caring for someone that is ill. You lovingly put them to bed.  A little later, you go in to check on them and they are asleep. You stand in the doorway and you watch them sleep and you pray and will them to be well again. You have compassion for them. The person turns over, looks at you and you realize, that person…

It’s YOU!

Now…if you can stay in that moment of time, healing is waiting for you there!

Self-pity vs. self-compassion.

Modeling. Our children model what they see in us. If we don’t forgive ourselves, the child likely is unforgiving toward the mother/father and toward self, as well.

Healthy child: “My mother/father loved life.” However…If we raise “healthy” kids, and we only love them, but we don’t love ourselves, they too will have difficulty loving themselves, because that is what was modeled for them = NOT loving oneself.

Disclaimer: of course we are not referring to the model that embraces thinking the world revolves around oneself, but rather a good healthy love of what the Creator decided we would be. He chose our personality, our spiritual gifts, our talents and skills. To not embrace who we were created to be, is an affront to our Father. We owe it to our children to know the difference between self-pity vs. self-compassion.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this. Have you found this to be true?

 

 

Filed under: MomCouragement,Spiritual Life — Tags: , , , — Pam Taylor @ 11:09 am

Moms, Put on Your Oxygen Masks

To prepare the passengers in case of an emergency during flight, the directions from the flight crew include something like this: “Moms, put on your oxygen mask before putting on your child’s oxygen mask.”

Why do you suppose they do that? I’m thinking it is because they know that it goes entirely against a mother’s natural instinct.

For many moms, one of the hardest things about mothering is the taking care of yourself part. I know it was for me, and and I hear it from others, as well.

So, this post is to encourage you. Not to be selfish, but to be sure to take care of self-care. In order to be the best mom for your child, it is not selfish to give yourself a “time out” so to speak. To refresh your spirit. To put on your oxygen mask before attempting to care for your child.

I’m not talking about neglecting your child. I’m not talking about indulging yourself in selfishness. I’m talking about knowing what you need in order to be the best you can be. Different personalities need different things to be their best. So, know your personality type. Know your spiritual gifts. Know your worship style. Know what type of exercise strengthens you. Know when a short break for a glass of water or a bit of protein will help bring out the best in your mothering skills.  A Christian life coach can help you to pinpoint those areas that you may need to “tweak” a bit in order to put on your oxygen mask so you can be breathing well enough to then care for your child’s oxygen mask.

What are ways that you, Moms, put on your oxygen masks ?

Mothering is like a sisterhood. We like to encourage and help each other through to success. What have you done or what are you doing now? Or maybe you remember how your own Mom did that very well…

BTW, we just want to let you know that we are new to Facebook so be sure to take time to “Like” Loaves and Fishes Coaching on Facebook.

Filed under: Coaching,MomCouragement,Spiritual Life — Tags: , , , — Pam Taylor @ 11:17 am

Parenting Tips

I recently had the privilege of teaching two workshops at the NICHE Homeschool Convention in Des Moines, IA. One of the workshops was for Single Parent Homeschooling, where I shared these Parenting Tips. So much is relevant, whether we are single, married, homeschool, Christian school, or public school. Parenting is parenting. So, it’s fun to share what we have discovered as we jouney the path with our kids.

The other workshop was “Hannah’s Daughter” (my own personal testimony of my search for God). Maybe I’ll share that in a future post??? 🙂

I offered these Parenting Tips to the people in my workshops and thought you might enjoy them as well. I’d love your feedback about anything you found to be particularly helpful. And, please post any other things that worked for you as you raised your own children, or as you watched others raise theirs. It’s never too late to start to train up a child in the way he/she should go so that when they are “old”, they will become faithful in what they have been taught.

So, here’s the info from the handout:

There’s no right or wrong way to school/teach your child. Let me re-phrase that. The only wrong way is if God tells you one thing and you choose to do another because God’s way seemed too hard.

 Teach them (by example) to love to read. (Read everything to them.)
 Teach them to love to learn (by example).
 Keep a journal for them telling them that they were wanted and write down for them the journey of faith with God … noted page by page. You might not be around to be able to tell them. My mother died when I was a pre-teen.
 Let them “catch you” in prayer and Bible reading.
 “Bring” God into everything…because He is in everything.
 Be aware of God’s continuous presence.
 TMS (Navigator’s Topical Memory System). Memorize Scripture together.
 Teach them the great hymns of the faith. Have them memorize the words. (My son sent me an affirmation email recently thanking me for teaching them the great hymns of the faith.)
 Have them go to sleep – from infancy – listening to Scripture tapes/CD’s or…the subconscious mind absorbs and is receptive.
 Have them memorize whole chapters of Scripture. Pay them $ for memorizing.
 No allowance. We’re family and family works together to accomplish what needs to be done.
 Deut. 6:7 tells us to teach our children diligently (purposefully), continually, whenever we are together.
 Behavior/Attitudes (good and bad) are “caught” more easily than “taught”.
 Keys for Kids devotional from Children’s Bible Hour (Uncle Charlie) is good even for very young children. It teaches truths, attitudes, good behavior, good relationship skills & love for/from God.)
 Be their cheerleader. Observe their strengths, interests, talents, and learning styles “Train up a child in the way he/she should go…” Each child is unique
 Be their advocate.
 Quote from Our Daily Bread devotional (1/30/11) “Children may not inherit their parent’s talent, but they will absorb their values.”
 No T.V. (My daughter sent a wonderful affirmation in an email from seminary, thanking me that she didn’t know the Sesame Street characters, but she knew the Bible characters.)

When they love to read and love to learn, they are not at the mercy of what others teach them. They can learn it for themselves. They can do their own research. They will learn to “think” rather than just regurgitate what was taught them.

Copyright 2011. Pam Taylor, Christian Life Coach, www.loavesandfishescoaching.com


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